NEVERMORE

NEVERMORE

I braced myself
preparing for another onslaught
of your disappointment in me
or some unsolicited criticism
in regard to my ever growing list
of shortcomings

but it was for naught
it seems that today your harsh words
are having a very different affect on me
seems I don't really feel anything
even though this barage is more harsh
than the many before it

I hear you
every word you speak
is being recorded in my mental
but it seems to be missing it's true target
... my spirit

I have been freed
no longer do I care if I disappoint you
no longer does it matter if I fall short
of your expectations
and no longer do your words
affect me ... wound me ... hurt me

but you continue to speak
and I realize just how blind and unaware
you truly are
never once has it really been about me
and my countless faults
but rather
it's about you and your need to
stand on my back so that you can feel
taller ... stronger ... better

but no more
I am done with this verbal warfare
and I am removing myself
from the battlefield of your
externalized self-hatred

you see ... today I am freeing myself
and allowing you to truly experience life
without me to blame or malign
and no longer will I take your calls
or value your opinion
because your words were nothing more than
poison ... slowly killing me

but today I say .... nevermore
nevermore will you stand as I tumble
nevermore will you smile as I weep
nevermore will you exist as I fade away
because today and forevermore
... I am freed

Fire
01/07/08