HEALING ME

I want to be free
of these memories
of the way things used to be
before US became you and I

I want to be able to
laugh at a joke
without imagining
if you would have laughed too

I want to be able to dine alone
at my favorite restaurant
without remembering
all the times you ate there with me

I want to be done with crying
because you are no longer with me
and I want to be free of this pain
not having you leaves me with

I want to move past this anger
at the things I swear you did
the things that ruined what we had
and left me feeling so much pain

but more than that
I want to love again ... fully
I want to trust in love
and believe that it can happen

I want to have faith in love
have faith that everything
won't end up terribly
the way you and I seemed too

but I'm not ready .. and I know that

I am still so broken over us
the dissolution of our perfect union
that I can't even imagine another
standing in your place
looking in my face

so I sit here ... crying and praying
and grieving ... for what was
and what we could have been

knowing that I can't do anything
or be of any use to another person
until I have healed my broken heart
and revived my broken spirit

02.08.07